theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
