Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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