reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
