also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
