just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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