oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
