quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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