look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
