Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
