I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
