Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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