We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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