He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
