Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
