I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
