Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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