She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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