You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
