I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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