god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
