I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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