I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
