Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
