We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
