bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
