hotel room ftw
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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