i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
