a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize