My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
