I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
