the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't deserve a penis
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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