yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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