How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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