I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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