Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
