if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
this boner is exhausting
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
