Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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