you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
