all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
