He is an equal opportunity slut.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
