Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
