you guys were way drunker than both of me
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
