There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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