Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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