I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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