just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
