I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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