okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
