Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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