i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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